What IS it with soap, anyway?

For various reasons, and because I'm not currently deployed on a contract, I've been providing some extra help with the boys over the last couple of weeks. I was at their house - Mikey was already at school - and David was getting ready to go somewhere.

"Go to the bathroom, then wash your hands AND face," I told him.

About 30 seconds later, he was back out. "David," I said, "Go back and wash your face WITH SOAP!"

With body language and stomping indicating exactly what he thought of this, David stormed back into the bathroom, muttering on the way, "What IS it with soap, anyway? It gets in your EYES."

What do you want for your birthday, Mikey?

Last week we asked Mikey what he wanted for his birthday. He responded, "Presents!" (DUH! on us, I guess...) We did try to press him for something more ... descriptive. He finally said, "Foxy."

Foxy is Aunt Evie's dog - she's a chocolate Labrador retriever. We are planning to have the bounce house for the birthday, and dog claws and bounce house material are not - compatible. So we asked Aunt Evie to come over a week ahead of time, with Foxy. (Foxy lives in the condo - she has a small side patio but no yard and she loves Grandma's yard.)

So Foxy came over mid-day, and she chased Mikey all around the yard. I did some bubbles, but neither the dog nor the boy were interested. (However, David came out and chased bubbles for a good half hour!) We did get him to throw the ball to her a bit - she retrieves (she's a retriever, remember?) and you have to tell her to "Drop it" or she keeps the ball (or whatever) in her mouth.

Foxy loves water - later we got out squirt guns. The boys actually squirted each other - then both of them squirted the dog. The dog - who loves water - did not like this, so we stopped. Except David, who is hesitant around the dog, did use the squirt gun not to squirt her, but to get her to leave him alone.

Mikey went inside for a while to play on the computer, and came back out later. However, he had tired the dog out ... so they didn't play too much. We did try to get Foxy to give Mikey kisses before she left; Mikey would put his face forward but shy away and giggle before the actual kiss took place ...

We think he enjoyed his early present.

Evil Mistress of Math

• Point 1: When I am David's math teacher, I often refer to myself as "Mrs. F--, the Evil Mistress of Math." David is amused.
• Point 2: David, like many teens, does not like to concentrate on things which don't amuse him.
• Point 3: Sometimes, the math concepts take concentration.

This week, we finally hit a topic that required a little thinking. David was just not into it. He got very emotional. When he does this, I get quieter and "flatter" in my voice. David declared that the " ... pie pieces make you eviler and EMOTIONLESS." I suppose that was geared to get a rise out of me; I merely agreed in a quiet, flat voice. It did calm him down, when he realized that all the fussing was not going to convince me to stop the lesson.

I'm not sure in what order this happened, but ... he also semi-yelled, "Bad Job, David!" when he didn't get something right away. I guess he didn't get what he wanted from me then either (likely, sympathy) - I responded in a sharp voice, "I don't allow any one else to speak to you that way; YOU may not do so, either."

Eventually, the quiet, EMOTIONLESS, continuance of the lesson won.  :-)

Fears and Age Appropriate Behavior

The boys spent the night with us this weekend. Because of elopement and other issues, we split the boys up. David generally sleeps on an air mattress in a room with Grandpa, and Mikey and I share a room with twin beds.

This post focuses on David. David is very high functioning. He is home-schooled. Most of the time, he can be reasoned with. However, he has fears that are exceptional. To spend the night at our house, he requires 2 nightlights and we had to leave the bathroom light on, with the door partially closed.

At David's house, there was a TV with some kind of short or something; it would seemingly come on of its own accord. Mom referred to it as a "TV Ghost." David does not have a TV in his room; he got semi-hysterical until Grandpa unplugged the TV.

He also - at nearly 14 - still sleeps with stuffed animals (as does Mikey).

He normally reads a bit in bed (as do I!) before finally settling down for the night. I asked him if he'd brought any books; he said, "No," so I suggested he find some from our set of books downstairs (which includes many books for kids). His reading list was interesting:

• Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom storybook
• Popeye Storybook based on the movie
• No, David
• Chicka Chicka Boom Boom

Another thing that is autism-related is a lack of empathy - based on a lack of interest - for "other people." I found a great book with pictures, geared for high schoolers, that deals with individual, discrete relationship possibilities. I shared one with David over the weekend; it spoke to noticing other people's eye contact (or lack thereof), facial expression (welcoming look? or not) to help him determine if they would welcome his joining them.

I also asked him last week - and he forgot - to notice and compliment one thing about someone - for example, Mom or Nana. We'll see how that goes - I'll send him some email reminders. Stay tuned ....

Some updates ...

Mikey

I completed a contract late in June and have nothing lined up for a while! Just as well; Mikey was on summer break. Various services for the boys have been cut back, and I was able to provide a little extra help.

During the first week, Mom had some "banked" hours she was able to use on Monday through Wednesday. On Thursday, I took Mikey to Disneyland, all by myself. This is something I've attempted only a couple of times, and only for a short amount of time. It seems to get better, especially since we establish the "rules" up front. And Mikey knows the routines better.

What's really funny with Mikey is that he has exact notions of what he wants to do on any given trip. One time, he wanted the Haunted House, which we did maybe five times. And on other trips, we have gone back-and-forth between California Adventure and Disneyland.

This trip, he did not want California Adventure at all. When I asked him what he wanted, he said (authoritatively), "Splash Mountain. Pirates. Tarzan's Treehouse. Jungle Cruise." So we went back to Splash Mountain first - and it was closed. There were attendants who told us they were still "testing" the ride and it should be open by Noon. I was very apprehensive - thought Mikey might have a melt down - but he took it rather well.

Since we were in the vicinity, I convinced him to ride the Haunted Mansion. Then we did Pirates, the Treehouse, and the Jungle Cruise. It was about 10:30 a.m.

And Mikey said, "I want home, please." !!!!
"Do you want Grandma's house?"
"No; Mama's house."

Now, this was a twist ... usually, it's hard to get him to go home. And Mom had other plans, so it wasn't really a good idea to take him home quite yet. We went on Pirates again, then walked around a bit and I finally talked him into going back to Splash Mountain, and it had reopened. He loved it. (He had not been on it before.) I then asked him if he wanted to ride Winnie the Pooh - he said, "Winnie the Pooh. Then Splash Mountain." So we did.

BTW, using the Guest Assistance pass usually means going in via the Fast Pass line. There is no Fast Pass for Pirates. Mikey said he wanted to go on Pirates again, so we went back towards the Exit, which is where you go for wheelchair access. The line was all the way out to the street! which means there were probably 80 people in the special access line - I told Mikey that Pirates was "closed" for the day - that's how he understands something is not available to him.

He then wanted to go home again; I asked him if he wanted lunch; he said, "no." I then asked if he wanted lunch in the Rainforest Cafe and he said, "YES!" I am here to report that, after a brief (< 5 minutes) period of "running around," he sat at the table with me the whole time, waited for his food, ate, etc. All in all, a terrific day!

The following day, David had a karate advancement ceremony and I took Mikey to the Santa Ana Zoo, and then he asked for Aquarium of the Pacific. We did both!!

David

We have not slowed down math. In fact, if anything, it's accelerated. He completed Algebra I and is now on to Geometry. He has completed 54 pie pieces (lessons) in 3 weeks, and aced an assessment! Now, part of this is that there is a lot of "review" presented as new material, such as finding the perimeter and area of a circle. But still, that is a lot of work to do.

David is growing UP. Literally. He is as tall as my husband and outweighs him by 25 lbs. at least. He is doing very well with his home schooling. His issues are primarily social, and he's always had an unusually broad set of fears, many of which he's learned/been taught to deal with.

And he's a teen. So, between the Teen-ness and the Austism, he doesn't really think a lot about Other People. I tasked him, last weekend, with finding one thing nice to say to someone (giving examples like, "See what Nana's wearing and compliment her if it looks nice." (Nana is his other grandma.) We'll see how he did with this assignment ...