More Harness

We went to the Aquarium yesterday and Mikey agreed to the harness. We are members and go often - it's less expensive than paying admission for the 1 - 1.5 hours we are likely to be there. The boys are very familiar and comfortable with the space. We do try to go when it's likely to be "less" crowded.

There are two floors of indoor exhibits and several outdoor exhibits, and a play area. Grandpa went off with David and Grandma took Mikey in the harness.

The tiniest improvements in Mikey do my heart such good.

He spent time, voluntarily, at many of the exhibits.

He didn't fuss when I needed to use the rest room; and, with only a few reminders, did not open the door until I was done.

He was cooperative when asked to stop for a few moments, or a few extra moments, at an exhibit.

The harness has one additional side-effect. When Mikey has the harness on, people do not question his "odd" behavior. Autism is not a disability that is obvious physically, so when the person's behavior is "off" a little, most people think the caretaker is incompetent or lazy. (In the autism community, we refer to kids without neural disabilities as "Neuro-Typical," or "NT", and not as "normal.") Even when they have major breakdowns, some people don't understand that autism (or something) is the source of the behavior.

When we go to the playground area, he asked, "Harness off, please." I took off the lead but left the harness on, and reminded him to play in the play area. He did.

He keeps looking at us when we are watching him, which we do all the time now. It really bugs him, I can tell; but not watching him could result in disaster. [sigh]

The setup outside is that the play area is adjacent to two of the large, shallow touch pools. These abut the top side of the "large" tank that houses giant (6') rays and sharks. The top side has a railing so a person can look down into the tank; there is another view with a glassed wall where a person can look inside the tank. It's pretty spectacular.

Mikey started to walk around one of the touch pools: up one side, around the edge next to the large tank, and back down to the playground. All highly visible and I followed him. About the 4th time, he stopped to look into the touch pool. Next thing I knew, he had slipped off his sandal and was putting toes into the touchpool.

"No, Mikey! I said, pulling him back. "Fish only! Lie on your belly and touch them." He did.

The next time around, he stopped at the large tank. Suddenly, he threw his leg up onto the rail, as in, he would have jumped in, had I not stopped him. "No, Mikey!" I grabbed him and hugged him tightly -- "Do you want to go home?"

"Yes! Store!" he responded, indicating he was ready for Softie Grandma to buy him something at the Aquarium store. I called Granpa and told him we were ready to go, and to please meet us at the central area.

We stopped at Rubio's (fish tacos) on the way home, and - miracle of miracles - got parking right in front! The boys both did very well, particularly David, and we had a nice meal together, in a public place. Now that's progress.

Mikey's Surprise - A Visit to an Amusement Park

Mikey has often expressed a desire to ride roller coasters. (David wants nothing to do with them. Grandpa has some minor middle-ear balance issues, and cannot ride things with two axes of motion without suffering ill-effects.) So yesterday, Aunt Evie and I took Mikey to a local amusement park.

Preparation

- Determine day and schedule time off
- Reread directions for harness
- Advise school that we would pick up Mikey after lunch
- Prepare name badge (autism ribbons above "Mikey" on one side; cell phone numbers on the other)
- Prepare story-with-pictures for Mikey, outlining where we were going and The Rules
- Check Web site of park for accommodations - if any - for special needs kids
- Take shorts and BRIGHT t-shirt

The Big Day

Drive to school; sign in. Mikey knew only that he was getting early dismissal - it was very important that we not promise something, on the off-chance it would not be delivered.

Signed in at desk. School got Mikey ready to leave. Mikey sees us for the first time.

"Hi, Grandma! Hi, Aunt Evie!"

"Mikey, say, 'Good-bye.'"

"G-Bye!"

"Good-bye WHO? What's my name?" (try to get eye contact)

More tries; finally, "Good-Bye, Danielle."

"He's dressed pretty warmly." "That's Ok; we brought shorts and a t-shirt." Shared name badge, harness. School asks if we want to start work there Thursday? :-)

Change Mikey's clothes - he gets in the car and puts his seat belt on - he is really good about that. "Mikey, do you know where you're going?"

Hand him page 1 of the "story" about this trip. He reads thru Page 1 (which ends with "Mikey gets his surprise."); he grabs page two off the front seat and exclaims, "[name of amusement park]!"

Off we go! "Mikey, [repeating from the story], first we stop at the rest room; then we go to the gate to get tickets; then we go in the park; then Mikey can ride!"

First challenge: althought there is a stated policy for "special assistance passes," the policy is that if there are more than 2 people, it constitutes a "party" and at least one person must wait in the regular line. The "special assistance" guests can go in the exit and join the person at the front of the line.

We go to the log ride; Evie waits in the line and I take Mikey on a mine train ride. Mikey clings to me as we go through one area - but I am not sure if he was afraid of the dark - he likes the dark - or if he was just trying to block noise by putting his ear on my shoulder. He was very good; did not try to stand up or anything.

Back to log ride; took him up exit. Wait. Fuss. Pull. Tug. "Mikey, wait for Aunt Evie - there she is!"

Climb in; very cooperative.
Up-up-Whoosh (small).
Around, around; faster, faster -- dark cave! Whoosh - II (medium).
Around "mountain" scenes. "Wolf!" "Bear" "Fox!" (just the animals; not the people-figures)
Climb. CLIMB. CLIMB! WHOOSH! (the big one) and SPLASH at the bottom.

"Did you like it, Mikey?"

"AGAIN!!!" We go to the "rapids" ride - Mikey keeps asking for the log ride. 90 minutes. Evie in line; Mike and Grandma wander.

Younger childrens area with cartoon theme; Mikey wanders; asks for grocery store (? never figured it out). Take disappointing "balloon" ride.

Text Evie - almost. Wander back to rapids.

OOPs line longer than was obvious. Try to wait. Mikey fusses. People stare. 20 mintes. Ride breaks down. AARRGGHH!

Back to Log Ride; Evie tried to leave rapids ride.

"Log Ride!"

"Long line, Mikey - can you wait?"

He tries to go in the "short cut" (exit) but I make him wait in line. 45 minutes. Lots of fussing; no screaming or other issues. Finally! We make it.

On the last high climb, he holds his hands up above his head; on the way DOWN he grabs the rails.

Evie had gone to wait in a different line for a free-fall water ride "plunge." She was most of the way through. Neither of us had been on this ride before.

Relatively short wait.

Get in.

Rigid shoulder harness comes down, over shoulders, to mid-riff; strap from the floor, between legs, locks in. We are stripped of anything that is not fastened down, including glasses. Evie and I are anxious (anxious? "What were we thinking!!!")

Ride starts. Up, up, UP (inside my head "LEMMEE OUT!")

Closed my eyes. Listned to rider Screams. PLUNGE. My (personal) bottom is not touching the ride seat!! Harness holds. S P L A S H . Drenched.

... and the voice beside me says, "AGAIN!!" We go off the ride - Evie and I still catching our breath. Mikey asks for horses. We go towards a Western museum in the park and I realize I can't find my phone. It had been in my pocket. Did it fall out in the "plunge"? Did I leave it back there?

Evie goes to look; I keep Mikey at the museum.

Mikey wants to leave, and we can't. Work with him. Lady in the museum gives him a souvenier coin, after asking if it's OK.

Shift change; older gentleman who has no idea what to do or not to do with an autistic kid ignores us totally. Mikey fusses. Tries to leave. Starts to scream.

More screaming. Tries to get away. Harness holds.

Tries to get on floor to hit his head on the floor - it's concrete. I hold the harness so his head doesn't touch.

Gets up. Go just-outside the museum. He tries to go. Screams for 2 minutes. Body slams me; 2 times hits his head on my chin - I can see the bruise today.

Finally, Evie is back - no phone.

Mikey has decided it is time for "Truck. Mama's house." We agree.

Mikey is calm and cooperative. We stop at a store; Mikey picks up 2 stuffed horses. "Pick ONE, Mikey." Aunt Evie buys it for him. We go out of the park and spot an "ice cream dots" vendor and get Mikey a cup.

Mikey is calm and happy. Kisses and hugs. Off to truck.

Mikey gets in; sits down; puts on seat belt.

On the way home we call and cancel the phone service.

Home. "What was your favorite ride, Mikey?"

"Log Ride."

We spent about 4 hours total in the park. More than we thought we would and all things considered, this was a highly successful adventure.

Evie and I go to dinner and both order a drink.

Later, Evie calls. "Mom, I have your phone! It was in my bag!"

I guess we put it in SOME TIME and just both forgot.

Harnessing Mikey

This is a follow up to "Mikey Escapes."

A while ago, we bought a harness for a large child. It looks pretty much like the fancier rigs that get used with dogs - the ones that go around the body, not the neck. We hadn't used it. However, my daughter (boys' aunt) and I are planning to take Mikey to a local amusement park in a couple of weeks, and I decided it was time to make sure he *would* wear it.

It took a while to get it on him, and - let's just say I plan to RTFM before putting it back on him.

"Mikey, do you want to go for a walk?"
"Yes."
"OK, you have to wear this harness."

He was very cooperative.

"Do you wear a harness at school?"
"Yes." (I'm not really sure he does - he goes to a special school for autistic kids. They do go on field trips.)

When it was on - still didn't quite feel right, but it was on - we went out the front door. He was actually very cooperative; and, unlike other times on walks when he's get too far ahead, now he simply slowed down when the lead "tugged" on him.

"Right," he said, indicating he wanted to go down the sidewalk.
"Right."
"Left."
"Mikey, what does the light show?"

We were at a street corner. Mikey doesn't "get" lights.

"Push the button, Mikey."
"Left!"
"Yes, Mikey, but first we go to the right to push the button so we can walk."

We did. He is very bright - the next light we came to, when asked to push the button, he did. I am hopefull this will eventually sink in.

"What do you see? Stop? Walk?"

Getting similar attention at a non-stoplight street corner, or by a parking lot driveway, is nearly impossible. But -- as we approached one parking lot driveway, and a car was coming, he did stop and wait. This is a major advance - he doesn't stop if a car is in the distance, but he was apparently aware of them close by.

"Right."
"Straight."
"Mikey, do you want to go to the park?"
"Yes." Quick turn of the head. "Thackerberry Farms!"

Thackerberry Farms is a strawberry stand. It's MILES away - like 3-5 miles.

"OK, Mikey, let's go home. Grandpa will take you to Thackerberry Farms to get strawberries."
"Straight!"
"No, Mikey, let's go back to Grandma's ..."
"Straight! STRAIGHT!"

Tantrum.
Pulling.
Attempt to run - harness is a good thing, and holds up against the struggle.
Drop to the ground.
Screaming.
Tries to get harness off. (Will he resists wearing it again?)
Pounds his head on the ground.
More screaming.
Rolls.
(Quiet voice here, continuously) "Mikey, we are going back to Grandma's house." (Repeat)

OKay, kids, today's lesson is ... the same one we always learn. Or refine: Set expectations with Mikey.

Later in the day, he wanted to go for a walk again. He agreed to the harness.

Grandpa says, "OK, Mikey, we are going to take a walk AROUND THE BLOCK."

Everything goes well and cooperatively. I have high hopes for the amusement park; and yes, we'll try this harness thing again next week in preparation.