"It's Michael"

That's what we say when he does something that *obviously* has a rationale - we just can't figure out what the rationale is.

To reach our house from our where the boys live, you can either take the freeways roughly West and South or other freeways South then West. (Think of it as a big rectangle, with no diagonal freeway.) Alternatively, you can "step" down the surface streets.

My daughter-in-law normally takes the freeways. Lately, Michael has been requesting that she take the 22 freeway as part of the trip.

"It's Michael."

Hello after a long hiatus!


Here's a little something that tickled me to bits:

So I was talking to David today and he informed me that he was making 320 mix tapes. 

"My goodness!" I said, "That's a lot of music. What are you going to do with all that?"

"Listen to it," David replied, matter-of-factly.

"Well, how many hours of music is it?" I asked.

"I don't know."

"Well, can you figure out an average?"

David thought for a moment and told me there were 60-70 minutes of music per tape. 

"Wow, " I said, "Assuming 8 hours / day, how many days of music is that?"

/ pause for math / 

"Forty," David said, then he continued, "Noah could have used it for his mix tape. "

Now, where did he hear that?

When David gets upset and acts out, Mikey gets aggitated. At a minimum, he starts saying things that, I think,  are his way of explaining/coping with David's behavior.

Yesterday, David got upset about something, and fussed - which upset Mikey. Mikey started muttering his usual coping things, "David is sad. David is a crier." Then he said, "David is On the Rag."  !!!!!!!!!

Mountains, Snow, Celtic Music

Last year – as in prior years – David asked to go to the mountains in the snow. (Mom thinks the minimum temperature should be about 75 degrees and she does not come with us.) He even made a special mix tape for the mountains!

When we found a suitable weekend, we booked a cabin for a night, got the extra clothes we needed, rented a car (my truck is the only viable vehicle for that weather and the boys don’t fit it the back anymore), packed it up, picked up the boys and off we went. We had to go in the “back” way because of construction.

We hit a “good” weekend – by good, I mean: there was plenty of snow but it had warmed up a bit and the wind was minimal and the roads were pretty much clear. Daytime temperatures were above freezing. We managed to find a cool place to slide down the hill away from the skiers (our GPS recognizes it as a “favorite” now) and had a pretty good day. We went out to dinner but all the places are crowded at Big Bear; we managed Mikey as best we could. Fortunately, we were in a corner were a) it was easier to contain him and b) he couldn’t reach anyone.

The next morning, however, Mikey was ready, after the briefest of times in the snow, to go home and David wanted to stay longer. We opted to pack up and stop at the local zoo. The zoo, like most zoos for no reason I have been able to determine, is on a hillside. Well. The previously-defined “good” weather had an adverse impact on us: the hilly walkways had patches of ice.

First, Mikey charged off in his fashion. I hollered, “Slow down, Mikey!” but it was too late – he slid and fell and started to cry. David, who went slower, still fell. Both boys, a couple of times.

Then at one point when I (I grew up in Western Pennsylvania and seem to be overall a bit more sure footed) was trying to keep up with Mikey while not losing David, there was this incredibly loud yell. Grandpa had slipped and was on his back. His vocalization drew a crowd, but he was more-or-less OK (bruises but no breaks).

We opted to leave at that point. The post-mortem was that the boys decided they did NOT want to go back to the mountains in the snow.

Well, like the faded memories of childbirth, those memories are far-enough faded that David is once again requesting a trip to the snow. However, Grandpa’s job is in flux and we don’t know yet what Life will look like after the holidays. So David has been talking with the assumption that this trip WILL happen.

The other day, I took him to karate. On the way, he started talking about this year’s mix tape for the mountains.

“David,” I said, “Grandpa may be getting a new job. I don’t know if we will be able to make the trip or not.”

“Then I have wasted the CD mix,” he wailed in his usual dramatic overstatement of the issue.

“David, we *might* be able to go; I just can’t promise it right now. And your mix is not a loss; at worst, you can use it another year.”

He went on a bit about it but eventually settled down.

This morning, I received this email. Please note: This was not prompted or requested in any way. Everything that follows is pure David. You will get a sense of how intelligent he is (and how single minded):

________________________________________________________________________________

PLEASE NOTE: These mixtapes are for travel use only. they are meant to be ambiance for the mountains.
Note that almost every mixtape starts off with a sample of Warez's "Salt For Wounds". it is normal to hear this track, and does not count as an official "track".

Also, if switching artist genres, a modified sample of Warez's "Sanctuary" will be played. It also does not count as an official track.

Do not worry about Audio Effects. sometimes, they are useful, like in "En Filant Ma Quenoullie", when there is a silence at one point, an echo will be played.

The main genre is Celtic, but sometimes, Country will be present. Occasionally, Techno will be presented from electronic music brand Moodgadget (2004-2009), Which might also have it's own discs.

Signed,
  David.

David / Math Status

Something wonderful is happening in the Algebra II / with Trig course - David is starting to get it much better than before.

As not only his teacher, but his accommodation, I have done more hand holding than ALEKS recommended. This was done deliberately - and with the knowledge that it would have to change. This year, as David is coming up on times when he will have to test independently for various things, I have been using some of the ALEKS features - mostly quizzes but also Worksheets - to get him to do the math without the "crutch" of either Grandma or the online ALEKS environment. And I told him he would have to do his Assessments all on his own - no Grandma to interrupt with comments like, "Watch the signs!" or "you remember, we did that kind of problem - here is an example" during it.

His first Assessment result was --- less than stellar. He "lost" most of the pie pieces he'd earned since the last assessment. (David tends to rush through things and either skips problems or makes careless errors.) His quizzes were a tad bit better; I also have started giving "timed" quizzes - 5-10 quick problems with a 10 minute limit. The first of those he panicked about and did not do well.

"David," I admonished, "the purpose of the timed quizzes is to get you used to doing them and NOT worrying about the time. Next time, please take the time you need to do the problems RIGHT, and don't worry if you don't finish them all. These are just there to help you learn to take the tests."

I like ALEKS but in my book it does not really "force" the kids to understand the topic - it lets them learn the "pattern" of how to do it - for those of you who have gone through calculus, think of learning how to differentiate a function mechanically without understanding what's going on - so I have been stopping the online lessons, moving to the white board, and taking the time to help him understand what's happening (at least, I hope that's what I'm doing ...).

Over the past month or so,  he has improved immensely. His last three timed quizzes (10 problems) he has gotten 90%, 100% and 90%; his last "recent knowledge" quiz he got an 88%. In the past he was averaging a "D."

But better yet - he did his last Assessment this morning. As of his prior assessment, he had 77 pie pieces. During the Assessment - I was sitting nearby - I heard him talking to the work, and occassionally saying, "No, no, no .. it's NEGATIVE" and equivalent remarks.

Right before the Assessment started, he had 97 pie pieces. After the Assessment? he had 97 pie pieces!!! When  I looked at the detail, he had "lost" one piece on a section he'd covered - and gained one piece of something we have not "had" yet!! This is the first time he hasn't lost at least 1/4 of the pieces he'd earned during the learning sessions.

Wow!

Autism and love

"Don’t push, Mikey – Grandma will fall down the stairs. Do you want Grandma to fall down the stairs?”

“Yes!” he responds.

I should not have asked the question. It put the idea of falling down the stairs into his head. I don’t think it was a desire to hurt me: It was more his insatiable curiosity about The World and wanting to know how things work. He was having Yet Another Tantrum at bath time. These started a few weeks ago, and now – curses! – they seem to be part of his “routine.” We are working on breaking the routine.

Mikey is a mystery wrapped in an enigma. He is autistic. He is *very* intelligent. He – as all children do – has learned what it behooves him to learn, at least as far as he is able. Autism is a neurological disorder. They even know some of the parts of the brain that are affected. They don’t know what causes it. They know that, if you have a child with autism, and have another child, that child is likely to be “on the spectrum.” So genetics do play a role. Mikey is one of a pair of identical twins – and his brother David is high functioning.

There is no blood or other chemical test for autism. It is diagnosed behaviorally – and that is why someone can be on the “autism spectrum.” It includes a lack of social interaction and a lack of the ability to “read” other people. Autistic people have to be taught to recognize things that neuro-typical (NT) people “pick up” – like emotions, irony, and those indirect, kind things people say that mean “bug off” or “don’t call me.”

Treatment is behavioral. That is, they use a reward and withhold-reward system, rigorously repetitive, designed to get them to the highest possible level of communication (many autistics never talk, read or write) and to get the behaviors to a more socially acceptable level. There are attempts to “teach” emotions and recognition of emotions and things of that ilk.

Does Mikey love us? I am not sure. He trusts us. He knows he is “safe” with us. If you read the blog about camp, you know that Mom and I were nearly hysterical worrying about his being in a strange new environment for the first time. Mikey was not. I think he would have stayed forever, or at least until something did not go enough his way. (His camp counselor, Spencer, told him he had to stay in bed until 7 am and he did.)

Mikey very seldom acknowledges anything you do for him. On those rare occasions when he says, “Thank you” or some equivalent, we are astounded and elated. But they are rare. While most relationships have a coinage, even if unspoken (I do this for you; you do this for me – if there were not some exchange of giving, the relationship would not exist), what we do for Mikey is done with almost no “return.” We feel for him. He does not feel for us.

What Am I?

My grandson, David, declared that I am "neutral good" most of the time; but when I am his math teacher, I am "lawful evil." Just thought you would want to know.